A guy goes to his doctor and says,
“Doc, I have a problem.”

“My girlfriend is sleeping over this Friday, my ex-wife is sleeping over this Saturday and my wife is coming home Sunday.”

“I need 3 Viagra pills to satisfy them all.”

The doctor says, “You know 3 Viagra pills 3 nights in a row is pretty dangerous for any man. I will give them to you on the condition that you return to my office on Monday so that I can check you out.”

The man says, “You have a deal Doc.”

Monday morning the man returns with his arm in a sling.

The doctor asks, “What happened”?

The man answered, “Nobody showed up!”

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Hear about Dracula’s Christmas party? It was a scream.

WHY did the girl take a mushroom to the party? He was a funghi.

DID you hear about the Christmas party with lots of fireworks, balloons and crackers? It went with a bang.

WHY couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas Party? He had no body to go with.

BARMAN: “You have a steering wheel in your trousers.” DRUNK: “I know — it’s driving me nuts.”

WHAT did Dracula say at the Christmas party? Fancy a bite?

WHY couldn’t the butterfly go to the Christmas ball? It was a moth ball.

WHAT do you call a drunk who gets a job at an upholstery shop? A recovering alcoholic.

HOW do chickens dance at parties? Chick to chick.

WHAT do people sing at an Eskimo’s New Year party? Freeze a jolly good fellow.

WHY does no one go to a party on the moon? There’s no atmosphere.

HUSBAND: “I’m going to a party, get your coat on.” Wife: “Does that mean you’re taking me?” Husband: “No. I’m turning the heating off.”

WHAT is Dr Jekyll’s favourite party game? Hyde and seek.

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