Ben invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn’t help noticing how beautiful Ben’s roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between Ben and his roommate and this only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Ben and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom’s thoughts, Ben volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Allison and I are just roommates.”
About a week later, Allison came to Ben and said, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. “You don’t suppose she took it, do you?”
Ben said, “Well, I doubt it, but I’ll write her a letter just to be sure.”
So he sat down and wrote: “Dear Mother, I’m not saying you ‘did’ take a gravy ladle from my house, and I’m not saying you ‘did not’ take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.”
Several days later, Ben received a letter from his mother which read:
“Dear Son, I’m not saying that you ‘do’ sleep with Allison, and I’m not saying that you ‘do not’ sleep with Allison. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom”
Doctors’ Opinions of The Financial Package
Doctors’ Opinions of The Financial Bail Out Package
The Allergists voted to scratch it.
The Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.
The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it.
The Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.
The Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception.
The Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.
The Pathologists yelled, ‘Over my dead body!’,
while the Pediatricians said, ‘Oh, Grow up!’.
The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness.
The Radiologists could see right through it.
The Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.
The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow.
The Plastic Surgeons said, ‘This puts a whole new face on the matter.’
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but
the Urologists felt the scheme wouldn’t hold water.
The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and
the Cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say ‘No’.
In the end ,the Proctolog left the decision up to the shmucks in Washington …
Tags: Mom
I hate sandcastles
Pictures April 5th, 2009
Happy friday
Pictures April 3rd, 2009
good laugh
Jokes April 3rd, 2009
The dentist pulls out a numbing needle to give the man a shot.
‘No way! No needles. I hate needles’ the patient said.
The dentist starts to hook up the nitrous oxide and the man objects.
‘I can’t do the gas thing The thought of having the gas mask on is
suffocating me!’
The dentist then asks the patient if he has any objection to taking a
pill. ‘No objection,’ the patient says. ‘I’m fine with pills.’
The dentist then returns and says, ‘Here’s a Viagra tablet.’
The patient says, ‘Wow! I didn’t know Viagra worked as a pain killer!’
It doesn’t’ said the dentist, ‘but it’s going to give you
something to hold on to when I pull your tooth.
Tags: good laugh
In Russia..
Pictures April 2nd, 2009
Girls of the day
Pictures April 1st, 2009
Learning math in schools
Jokes April 1st, 2009
Little Johnny was busy doing his homework. As his mother approached she heard:
“One and one, the son-of-a-bitch is two.”
“Two and two, the son-of-a-bitch is four.”
“Three and three… ”
His mother interrupted, asking where he had learned this way of doing math. Little Johnny remarked that his teacher Ms. Margo taught him.
His mother was rather upset and told him to stop the homework. The next day she stormed into Little Johnny’s classroom and confronted Ms. Margo. Little Johnny’s mother told Ms. Margo about Little Johnny’s different way of doing math, and his claims that Ms. Margo taught it that way to the class.
The teacher was flabbergasted. She said that she couldn’t understand why Little Johnny had said what he did. Then suddenly, Ms Margo exclaimed, “Oh, I know, here in school we say, one and one, the sum-of-which is two.”
Tags: Learning math, schools
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